There's a decision that we have to make, at least once in our lives. It's the one decision that some of us will regret for the rest of our lives and some of us will appreciate the rest of their lives. One of the most important debates that we have to come to terms with, and try to win. The decision to get married.
It all looks so easy in the movies, or when we hear about our friends who are married. "So, how did you know she was right for you..that she was the one?" always gets the same reply; "Dude, you just feel it. When you meet her, you'll know." This unfortunately is the absolute most bullshit answer anyone will ever give you. It's all a lie, your friend just trying to be cool about it, trying to pretend that it was something that just came naturally. It is impossibly hard, especially in our time, to be able to "feel" if someone is right for you. Well at least for a lot of us. It's not as easy as it was for our parents; in their time men and women were less complicated, less competition, less globalization. Less media influence, less social diversity, less creative diversity: less headache. In today's time (according to me) women are hard to deal with man...they are demanding. It's scary thinking about marriage and the process, the result being that you end up with the same person for years to come. Divorce is an option, but out of all the options it's the ugliest one. It destroys a family, destroys the children and destroys our hearts no matter how tough we act. The only solution is to be careful who you pick.
Well, okay. I can't really lie...there IS a bit of feeling involved. Sometimes, you DO feel a good vibe..that this girl is the right girl for you, that she is smart, cute, good natured, blah blah blah. At the same time, you have to look at a lot of other things as well. Can you see yourself in a picture frame with her, holding her hand? Can you imagine getting on a plane with her, travelling to the Maldives islands for a week? Can you imagine your arm around her on the couch, watching a movie together? This is one of the key things to consider my friends; to see if you will fit. The both of you are like a puzzle that starts with just the two of you...and these two pieces HAVE to fit.
Now in the puzzle of life, sometimes two pieces DO fit perfectly...but there will always be other pieces involved. Pieces who don't want you two to fit. THEY want to fit there. Sometimes there will be pieces who try to force another piece to fit in place, through pressure or manipulation..and they will do anything for that piece to fit in that place. Sometimes, a piece fits fine but later on decides the space isn't big enough, decides that they aren't even that shape anyways..so you will have problems. But you have to wait it out. Let everything cool down. Talk, decide if you want to fit or not. Consider some other pieces that are similar...but always remember that to complete the puzzle..there is only one exact fit. If you rush now to just squeeze in just any piece, it may work now but when looking at the big picture..you will have a major problem. Remember that in this puzzle, we don't often get a chance to just remove the piece and try to find another one...we don't get to quickly just unbend the shape we forced in. Your completed puzzle will never look as good as the one in the picture on the box.
Sitting here as I type, as I think about everything that's going on. This very well could be the toughest desicion someone could make. Try to make a choice where you will always be happy, at least 90% of the time. Because nothing comes above your happiness; and that can't be bought in a puzzle box.
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ray