This one goes out to all the women, who were always there for us, always there to help us whenever we needed it, to all the women who lifted our spirits when they were down. It's cute, how a woman will always want to get involved in our problems, and try to remind us that they are there for us. "Talk to me, tell me what's wrong..I want to help!". So direct, so to the point, so sweet. And even though we almost never tell them, it always makes us happy that she is there. All the women who will think hard and try to plan a surprise for us, but end up being more excited than we are when we find out what it is..I don't think they'll ever understand that the fact that they get that huge smile on their face is more worth it than the surprise itself.
Women are funny, and impossibly hard to figure out. Sometimes, "nothing" means everything, and "maybe" could mean yes or no, neither yes nor no, or yes AND no..and no matter how much they stress that they don't want anything for their birthdays, don't you dare forget to get her a gift - because if you do, it'll be a whole week of "maybe", "nothing" and "I'm fine". Always remember to think hard when you hear that she's fine, because you, my friend, are in the danger zone. And even if she tells you that everything's OK, in actuality, the situation is far far far away from OK. Oh, and I'm sure all you guys know that the word "fat" does not exist in your dictionary, being one of the most dangerous words ever invented. This is one of those words that can make or break your evening...and is often sprung at you at the most sensitive of times: "Do you think these jeans make me look fat? Tell me the truth!". Show me one man who has ever told the truth when put in that situation, and I will show you a brave, stupid or dead man. There is a certain level of skill required when maneuvering through that minefield of a question, and I doubt that few men have lived without losing an arm or leg at least once in their lives.Concerning tricky questions, women have this uncanny ability to spring all sorts of double-edged questions: "is my hair better like this or the way it was before?". Run, Run for your life my friend because this is one of those questions where you're betting on a blind horse..there are never right answers to those kind of questions, so put on your gloves and get ready for a knockout round. I have no idea why they do it, because I'm almost SURE they know that most men aren't really that good at lying, especially to women. I've come to a conclusion that it probably makes them happy that we make an effort to lie...there could be no possible reason!?
So lie men, lie. Lie about all the little things that you can, because even though she will always tell you that she always wants the absolute truth from you, lie, lie and lie when she cooks something you can't swallow and tell her it's the best damn lasagna you've ever had, the best damn cake you've ever tasted this side of the world..ESPECIALLY lie when she asks you how you like how all your furniture is re-arranged when you get home, "don't you think it looks so much more spacious?"..."of COURSE darling, it looks great!". Because no matter how you look at it, she's done it for you. She spent an hour on YouTube learning how to make that Butter Chicken you seem to love so much when you go out to eat, and another 2 hours in the kitchen making it hoping it turns out OK. If it turns out well, let her know. If it doesn't, don't ever break her heart. Eat all of it, and ask for seconds. Most women are god's gift to us, because one who loves you will always go out of her way to do things for you, all the little things that might not matter to you, but matter to her in a big way. Try to notice that she's cleaned up a little bit, or left a chocolate bar out for you even though she knows your chubby..try to notice that she's stocked the fridge full of your favorite food, and done some of the dishes, even though you would never touch a dish in your life, even at your mother's house. She doesn't have to do that for you, but she will because she likes you. Imagine..just because she LIKES you! She'll help you organize, help you in your work, help you in your life, your troubles, your journeys, your everything: as long as you treat her right.
Because women, can be so cute. How many of you can keep a straight face when you get a call on the phone from a nervous anxious girl, telling you that her day's not going so well and she's feeling down? Most times we get this huge grin on our faces, because it's adorable, and it's easy because they trust us to cheer them up. Remember guys, that you can compliment a girl that you don't know, and she might not be affected by it at all. But compliment your own girl, and she'll blush. Don't get it twisted, women are strong characters. Anyone who's ever had a sister growing up, would have seen a little bit of how vicious and scarring their world can be sometimes, when concerning other women. Men fight, and get it over with; women PLAN. They can keep up the jealousy, the hate, and fight their internal wars for years, never thinking anything of it. The things that women are capable of, can be shocking to most men...but then again most men (except the unfortunate ones) will never see that world. Even then, women will let their guard down with us, and let us know that they're in need of a smile or a hug or when they need to give a few tears away. Sometimes I thank god that he has at least given us the ability to sweet talk women, or at least say something really stupid and have them laughing in under two minutes...it's probably the only strength most of us have in that department!
Don't you see? There's a reason men are naturally attracted to women..just look at their physical design. Beautiful creatures, some even capable of stopping hundreds of men in their tracks, able to take you to places where your senses could never even imagine possible. Their ability to fit in your arms just right, in almost any situation. Their ability to almost always outdress you, outshine you, and the ability to pull it off so smoothly, as if it's no big deal. They will spend 3 times as much as men in front of a mirror, just so they could look slamming...and so that you can have something to show off when you go out. Don't ever forget, that a woman in love with you will dress her best and look her sexiest, for YOU. Don't ever get caught up in which other man is looking at her, and why, because her eyes are on you. Make sure you always wear cologne, look sharp, and stay clean...because they will always make sure they do the same for you, and it's the least we can do. They know that most of us are (no offense) hairy, smelly, dirty, careless, impulsive, clumsy and forgetful...it's a blessing that they choose these things to like about us, at least MOST of the time (until they're pissed, and then it's hell).
So men, appreciate your women, and don't ever forget to tell them that they are beautiful everyday. They are an important part of our lives, and even though you can't live with 'em, you definitely can't live without 'em. And even though some of the time they'll fake it, most of the time they'll love you till the sun comes up.